5th Nov 10
M. R. SellarsI was looking at the news the other morning. This isn’t unusual, I do it every single morning. Well… When I have access to a TV. If not I listen to the radio. If I don’t have that I look for a newspaper. If I’m cut off from those too, well… I cry.
But that’s another story and I don’t want to talk about it…
The thing is, even with elections, exploding volcanoes, cholera epidemics, and airplanes falling out of the sky, one of the top news items was a “slow news day” sort of thing.
“What was that?” you ask.
The McRib.
Yes… The sickly-sweet-sauce soaked, pressed, molded, and formed, non-rib pork by-products on a bun with a pickle. You see, “It’s back.” This is not to be confused with Carol Anne announcing, “They’re back.” We aren’t talking poltergeists here. We may, however, be talking zeitgeists… I mean, given that the golden arches would like for everyone to get all excited about pressed pork leavin’s on a bun, they are in effect creating their own, artificial, “spirit of the age,” so to speak.
Apparently, though, “the age” only lasts six weeks. It seems that’s what makes the “return of the McRib” newsworthy and not just commercial-worthy. The marketing geniuses at the fast food mecca have created this overwhelming demand for a product by making it scarce. Their official position is even something to the effect that by restricting McRib trade they keep the “true fans” of the sandwich wanting more. And, I wasn’t kidding about them being geniuses – I mean, after all, here I am blogging about their damn McSammich, and adding to the buzz. No offense to my publicist, but I think maybe I need some of these burger folks on my team.
But back to the whole McRib Mania… I really have to wonder if we’re talking “true fans” or just sheeple that are getting excited over this.
Why?
Because if rib-shaped, non-rib, pork by-product patties are really your thing, you can buy them at the grocery store all year round. So what’s the big deal with the McVersion of the sandwich?
The Secret McBurger Police will probably have me silenced for this, but I think I know what makes it so special.
It just has to be the pickle… I bet they’re importing them.
More to come…
Murv
Rosie/Crystal Rose
November 5th, 2010 at 11:33
You know, that sandwich never appealed to me… and even though it’s only around for a short time, I still don’t have the desire to go out and buy one…
M. R. Sellars
November 5th, 2010 at 12:43
When I was a youngster I used to think the Big Mac was the greatest thing ever invented. Last time I had one as an adult it made me ill… :-/
Tasialue
November 5th, 2010 at 11:52
I’ll take a Burger King Italian chicken sandwich any day over that awful fake rib thing. Sadly, they only make those once every five or six years.
If there were ever Murv Meatloaf outlets, I think I’d never leave them…
M. R. Sellars
November 5th, 2010 at 12:36
3 words: Black Patent Molasses. You’d DEFINITELY never leave…
blackfog
November 5th, 2010 at 12:22
Really, it’s all about childhood memories (and whatever form of crack McDonalds puts in their food).
For the record though, I “accidentally” got a McRib without the sauce. If you thought they were slightly terrifying before…
M. R. Sellars
November 5th, 2010 at 12:41
Yeah, back when I was a bachelor and had the metabolism of a 21 year old, because… well… I was 21… I used to buy cases of the damn things (unsauced) in the freezer section. I could throw ’em in the oven, or toss ’em on the grill, and then sauce ’em however I wanted. Quick and easy. It’s a friggin’ miracle that Thallium Stress Test I had a few years ago showed my heart being in such good shape.
These days we get the Morningstar Farms veggie version. I actually wish they’d leave the sauce off of those and let me use my own, but all in all they’re pretty damn good considering that they’re vegetable protein flavored and shaped like rib patties. Even have pretty much the same consistency as the old McPorkParts…
Celeste
November 5th, 2010 at 15:56
The secret is, Murv, the McRib parts are mostly the same ingredients as your morningstar version. They probably have as much actual meat as Campbell’s original chicken noodle had chicken. PLus enough lard to make you think you are eating real meat.
Alexx
November 5th, 2010 at 17:19
i think they are gross. I prefer my ribs to be actual ribs, complete with bone. and they really do make me sick. We rarely even stop at McD’s unless we travel and that is usually for drinks and the pit stop.
Schueyman
November 6th, 2010 at 12:34
I do not patronize Micky D’s. I find the food bland and, as has been pointed out, unhealthy. I don’t get to the fast food joints too often these days, but I prefer Jack’s. If in a hurry and there is nothing else in sight, I will get a Big Mac, but only to keep my blood sugar up. I try not to taste it too much on the way down. I can’t say i haven’t had a McRib, but it certainly made no impression on me. It’s all an advertising gimmick. And let me say, I have nothing against advertising. Companies have a right to try to sell their crap. It’s the attempt by advertisers to create some sort of artificial reality through the ads that pisses me off. We all know, at differing levels of the brain, that ads are mostly bullshit. It’s the people who take them seriously that frighten me.
M. R. Sellars
November 7th, 2010 at 06:39
Exactly