BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

ST LOUIS, FEBRUARY 13,  (AP)— A St. Louis family finally noticed the father had passed away in the kitchen after more than two weeks of piling dirty dishes next to his corpse. M. R. Sellars, noted thriller author and stay-at-home dad apparently died while loading the dishwasher sometime during the evening in late January. Cause of death has yet to be determined; an autopsy is pending.

When reached for comment as to why his death went undetected for so long, his wife said, “Hold on. I just got another Words With Friends challenge.” His daughter weighed in with, “OMG! I just saw on TumbleBookFace that Stinky Cheese and Captain Skidmark are going to be at Myoozapalookafest this year!” She also added, “Do we have any pizza rolls?”

When asked why they didn’t notice the smell, both replied, “Oh, don’t worry about that. He just farts a lot.”

Memorial arrangements have yet to be announced, but are expected sometime before the end of 2037.